Schwiftian linguistics

Though not officially recognized as an expert linguist, Alt Schwift X shows a keen interest in etymology and neologism, and has enacted several linguistic innovations.

Methodology
Schwift has developed a unique method of linguistic research, which consists of asking his followers on YouTube to google things for him.

It is believed(by whom?) that he developed this groundbreaking method as early as his childhood in the 1820’s when thesauruses did not exist, and the only way to conduct linguistic research was to broadcast live on YouTube from a cave.

Lexical choices
Although his constant search of the core meaning of words is largely a semantic endeavour, Schwift's analysis of lexical choices within particular contexts is an exemplary lesson in pragmatic linguistics. For instance, the word "bitch" when uttered particularly by a humbled dickhead, has been contextualised by Schwift as the desperate remedy for restoring said dickhead's pride.

Schwift's main phonological concern is with the word "moist", describing it as "potent" and "awful", and a certain way of making a character unlikeable. In his later works, Schwift uses his prior analysis of "moist" as a point of reference for other, similarly effective phrases such as "I dare you", which he describes as "the 'moist' of character dialogue". As such, he claims the phrase serves as an indication of "an annoying high and mighty prick" that should not be liked as well. This linguistic phenomenon was christened by Schwift as a "cheat code".

Orthography
Schwift has conducted an orthographic analysis of foreign fantasy languages conventions, coining the term "fantasy apostrophes". His findings point to a clear trend of fantasy authors using apostrophes irresponsibly and arbitrarily to give their fantasy language the appearance of foreignness. As an alternative for adding flavour to the appearance of fantastical foreign languages, Schwift suggests the use of "a bunch of funky accents" and "little bits and bobs" such as umlauts and diacritical signs. Unrelatedly, Schwift has admitted to being ignorant of the workings of the German language.