Brain Fungus

The Brain Fungus is a condition experienced by SchwiftySquwad members, in particular those who are exposed to excessive doses of Schwiftian narration.

Signs and symptoms
Symptoms of the Brain Fungus may include the following:


 * Obsessive-Compulsive research into fictional subjects
 * Tangential ranting, frequently with compulsive lying
 * Stuttering (in particular; "uhh" interjections, superfluous revisions, syllable and multi-syllable repetition)
 * Development of an Australian accented inner monologue

Cause
While the exact cause or causes are unknown, the condition seems to be due to a combination of environmental factors and, and it's like, like, like y'know those caterpillars. I think it's caterpillars, with the brain-fungus, right? These zombie caterpillars which get infected with the brain-fungus and it controls them, makes them climb, climb up towards the tops of the trees, y'know? I might, I might be making this up, I don't know. But consuming Alt Schwift X is like that brain-fungus. When you've been, you've been exposed to it too much it gets into your brain-pan man, and ''I'm, I'm reading this in his voice even as I'm typing it because Schwift is in my fookin’ brain and he is narrating my own thoughts to me. It's like, y'know, that movie Inception, but instead of an idea, your subconscious has been implanted with a narration style and suddenly everything you write sounds like Schwift'' and uh, y'know?

* ahem*

Diagnosis
The diagnosis of disease caused by Schwiftian narration exposure is often difficult and relies heavily on the history of consumption of content produced by a similarly infested host and the presence of typical features of the disease. The presumptive diagnosis is particularly strong when the infected host begins to compose long rambling social media posts. The host may also begin to build elaborate theories and contribute those theories to a Wiki-like cargo cult in collaboration with other infected hosts.

Treatment
There is currently no known cure for Brain Fungus. However, abstaining from excessive consumption of Schwiftian abridgement has been shown to result in a reduction of the symptoms. It is not yet confirmed whether there is a cumulative effect. It has been observed that moderate exposure to Schwiftian narration over an extended period will result in the formation of, or gravitation towards certain cult-like organisations. It is also speculated that large-scale exposure, averaging greater than 190 seconds per day of abridgement consumption over a four-year period, may result in the sufferer actually metamorphosing into a Schwift-like being.