Juan

Juan (IPA: /'xwan/) (full name unknown) (also referred to as Schwuan ) is the official Alt Schwift X Hitter, responsible for administering Skinnerian conditioning in the form of physical assault to ensure tangents are minimized.

Origins
Juan was first introduced in Game of Thrones Abridged #61: Jon VIII, AGOT after Livestream viewer Jenny Kim suggested that world-famous raconteur and professional tangentialist Alt Schwift X may require someone to "stand next to him and hit him every time he gets off track for more than 60 seconds". The chat commenter also immediately applied for the position. Alt Schwift X responded saying the position was already filled by Juan, who was armed with a two-by-four and a stern expression. Juan is also fed corn, possible as a form of payment for his services.

Relationship with Alt Schwift X
Alt Schwift X in Game of Thrones Abridged #78: Bran I, ACOK was asked about Juan by SchwiftySquwad member and litho-culinary expert Hadas Goldgeier, to which he stated that Juan was not on the Alt Schwift X team, but is a member of the Alt Schwift X Family , "like a son" to him and that wages (also see: Corn) would not be enough to thank him for his services.