Talk:Reptilian Schwift Theory

"I've hooked up with a lot of lizards in my time, and none of them are good kissers." -

Adding to the many mysteries of Alt Schwift X (ASX) is the matter of his species. Though at first assumed to be human, his extended lifespan and vast knowledge suggest that he may be something other. One popular theory of ASX's species identity is that he is a member of the infamous and secret Lizard People.

[header] Evidence

Evidence for his being a Lizard Person is admittedly weak, the main data being his own admittance to kissing lizards in Game of Thrones Abridged episode #86 Daenerys 1, ACOK. Though, this could just be a personality flair, and not an indication of his species.

Further support of the Reptilian Schwift Theory is a short story written by his alter-ego Marten Cordial, titled "Cold-Blooded," which features Lizard characters and a strongly lizard-sympathetic attitude. Whether his viewpoints stem from his own experience with his own species or artistic fancy is up for debate.

One final piece of evidence is his interest in ASX Youtube parody account Alt Shift Exe, whose video exposing Ned Stark as a secret Lizard Person first got ASX's attention. Fans ask, why the attraction to this particular video? Speculation is that he has a particular interest in Lizard People--being a Lizard Person himself.

However compelling the data, the evidence is circumstantial at best, and no hard evidence exists to support this theory. In fact, the main impetus behind the Reptilian Schwift Theory is his fans' burning desire to make sense of his vague and highly varied accounts of himself, and their willingness to resist logical explanation in order to find the schwiftiest answer possible.

[header] Other Musings

The most likely answer to his species identity comes from ASX himself, who through his alter-ego Random Article claims to be a dark eldritch being. Despite ASX being a notoriously unreliable narrator--(We are hereby compelled to state that ASX insists that everything he says about himself is true. To which his fans retort, that's exactly what an unreliable narrator would say.)--this may be one instance in which he's actually telling the truth.

Though evidence is scarce, fans consistently search for clues to finally confirm ASX's species. Whether Lizard Person, dark otherworldly being, or just a regular guy, ASX's mysterious persona will likely remain just that--a mystery.